Where I Shop (and how I take care of my skin).

Your choice in dress says a lot about you.

I learned this from ma mere (my mother: a French-Canadian woman desperate to impress and, obviously, she always does). As a young woman, she was apart of the United Pentecostal church so linen and plaid dominated her closet.

If you know anything about UPC women, you'll understand that their choices are strictly limited and, very recently, they've altered the limitations: not for the better.

Their sleeves must reach the creases of their elbows. Makeup is forbidden, as is jewelry (besides your wedding band, of course). The popular style of hair is always very drastic, despite the modesty they showcase with jean skirts and plain, though frilly, blouses. ("The higher the hair, the closer to Jesus!")

So mama was forbidden to express herself in the way that she wanted to. In old photos, she sports pastel colors and bouffants high as heaven. Somehow, she pulled it off. I never understood how she did it, really. Maybe it was how feminine she was - how youthful. After all, she was barely twenty-years old when she had my eldest sister, Melissa.

Somehow, my mother managed to incorporate the eighties fashion within the UPC community. Big hair was popular in 1983 but it was law for her. Plaid was the craze, of course, but the pattern became her life's work. 

My mother eventually disbanded from the church and cut her hair (a pixie cut that she regrets to this day). She also worked in a boutique for modern women and, eventually, started her own consignment shop. Unfortunately, due to my mother's situation, Fabulous Finds had to close. 

But still, I remember that store. My mother hired an adorable Asian woman (without a beautician's license) to do nails in the back. I remember the smell of chemicals and the buzzing of electric nail files (honestly I'm not sure what their proper terms are, as a I never get my nails done on account of me working in a bakery). I wish I remember the woman's name because she was always very kind to me and the conversations she had with women entertained me for hours. 

In Fabulous Finds (right next to a place in Fort Wayne called Cookie Cottage - where they make the best damn sweets even now) I would prance the aisles of clothing. I recall a lot of turquoise and reds, especially during the holidays. There were ball caps - I mean, come on, this was the late nineties. Shoes of all sizes decked the shelving, whether they be casual or something you only saw drag queens wear. 

Whatever the case, and whatever I was running my tiny hands on, I think my love of fashion began in that building. But because my mother was single, and financially on the brink of disaster, we went to Goodwill. 

A lot. 

I was never really ashamed of it. Ma mere could have thrifted as a career. Even now, after remarrying into money, she's always open to grabbing something off a discount shelf. This is something I deeply admire about her - maybe it's because, in truth, her experience has never affected her future in a manner of which it shouldn't. Mama would grab a cart and fill it with half-priced dresses (God, I lived in dresses) and shoes that, no matter how scuffed up they were, she could always make look brand new. 

Because of this, I thrift. I thrift like mad. Everybody asks where I get my clothes and, when I tell them, they're shocked. It amazes me, really. How people can't believe I buy clothes that others give up astounds me. It's sort of like when women talk about where they got their new dress and they answer something pretty shallow. For instance: 

"Tammi, where did you get that dress? It's absolutely adorable!" 

"This old thing? I got it from Target!"

Amazing. 

Sure, my clothing may be vintage and, sure, it might be a bit worn. But with a little TLC and careful washing methods, anything can shine. 

So, let's talk about dressing. The whole truth of it. When you're twenty-one and living on a part-time paycheck. When going to H&M is a whole other world and a rarity in which your head explodes upon entering. 

Let's start with the basics. 

One of my favorite dresses is actually an XXXL blouse from Salvo (Salvation Army). I found it with a very small budget and could barely afford it, even after 20 hours of work that week. I was ecstatic when I laid eyes on it. I love silk even if it's not real. 

It smelled weird, that's for sure, and when I looked at the tag I sighed. Handwash only. Cold water. All that jazz. I have a secret: I'm terrible with following those rules. I don't even separate colors (this has gotten me in trouble once or twice). But I loved the thing so much, I didn't even care. I got home, dumped it in my bathroom sink, and let it soak for a couple hours. When I put it on, I fell in love. 

I've never put something so comfortable on. 

One of my favorite things about this blouse (but, let's face it, on me it's a dress/robe) is that I can wear it to bed or out. And on my 21st birthday, my best friend was shocked when I didn't want it put on me, rip roaring drunk, and begging to be comforted. 

And, let's be honest, it looks great in VSCO filters. 

Truthfully, my mother bought me that skirt. It's from Levi jeans and I can't even fit in it anymore (even though this photo was taken last fall...yikes). The sweater was my sister's, the hat I bought at Charlotte Ruse, the leggings? God only knows. And the shirt? 

Yeah. That was from Goodwill. 

I'm just as surprised as you are. I wore this outfit the day Bob Dylan won the Noble Prize; I couldn't help myself. It had to be done. This is the kind of outfit I wear when I pretend I'm cool enough to like folk music that my first love listens to. And while I do adore Bob Dylan, I'm sure he'd hate me for wearing a shirt with his face on it. 

While you can't see this whole dress, I'd like to point out that it's my favorite piece of clothing I own. 

It's Calvin Klein. My mom found it at Goodwill (surprise, surprise!). It stops at my knees, which is becoming a little too short, considering I've had it since I was seventeen. But I can't bring myself to give it up. I adore jean, and I adore dresses, and what's better than front zippers? Absolutely nothing. 

I can wear this during the summer (no sleeves) or pair it with a sweater in the fall. When I was working at Barnes & Noble, this was practically my uniform. It's something that says, "Hey! I bet I read more books than you!" which makes me feel better about myself. (I don't read a lot of books, ironically enough.) 

The glasses were my sister's (the middle one), which I'm pretty sure I adopted without her permission. Also, that hat followed me everywhere last year until one day I found it smashed on my bedroom floor. Now it looks like the Sorting Hat off of Harry Potter. Too bad. 

Does this skirt look familiar?

Ah, you have a keen eye. 

Yes, this is the skirt from the very first photo. Back in the winter of 2016/early this year, I went through a rebellious stage and joined a girl gang (The Triple D's, by the way). I decided to cut this skirt (sigh...why?) because I must have been hyponotized by the classic rock blaring throughout my bedroom. 

That shirt was Laura's (said middle sister), but she didn't want it anymore. I can't remember, and I'll have to double check, but it's a Rolling Stone magazine cover featuring, I wanna say, Led Zeppelin? 

That knife is a Winchester, given to my dad by my brother, but no one used it. I wanted it for so long, and when I realized dad wasn't going to use it (like, ever) I modge-podged it with glitter. I carry it in my purse when I go out. 

God, I loved this phase. 

As you can see, I don't have a particular aesthetic when it comes to fashion. I can pick out an 18th century-like, wool cape from Salvo and, during the same trip, consider 1970's clogs (true story). 

This dress is one of my favorites, bestowed upon me by my oldest sister. I wore it to a job interview for Build-A-Bear (thankfully, I didn't get the job) and paired it with a hair brooch (also given to me by Melissa). That scarf? Also credited to Melissa. Basically, half of my closet is because of her. 

I just realized this. 

But I think I might use this post as a transition for, well, hair and how I beat my face; that medium bob reminded me.

Last year, I had this stupid idea of cutting my hair even after growing it out for two years; a tribulation I had to bear. A freakin' mermaid would have been jealous of my locks. But I guess I wanted a change. I'm kind of glad I did; my head of hair is a lot healthier now. 

I'm blessed to have the genetics in which my hair grows quickly. It took a couple of years for my hair to reach the length it is now. And while that seems like a long time, I know girls whose hair simply does not grow and hasn't since middle school. Poor things. I don't know what I'd do without my hair. 

A long time ago, I read from a designer that, and I quote, "A woman's hair is her best accessory." I believe that to be true. When my hair was short, I wasn't ever completely satisfied with my outfits. 

Anyway, this is my hair now. 

I'll give you my secrets. 

• I rarely use heat on my hair (blow dryers, curlers, straighteners...)
• The amount of conditioner I use is ungodly. I don't want to know how much money I spend on conditioner. I use Organix and, while it's more expensive than Herbal Essence (also a very good brand - use the hydrating kind, by the way) you won't be sorry you invested in such a splurge. My go-to is the Brazilian Keratin shampoo. 
• I don't like to use hairspray, mostly because I don't like the smell, but also because nothing from an aluminum can could possibly good for your hair (or scalp). But if I do use any spray, it's Aussie. Admittingly, my dad influenced this. 
• I always take showers at night. I've heard this isn't good for your hair (something about mildew but, psh, I don't buy that) but the key is towel drying. 
• Heat protector. 

Makeup is a little more difficult to explain because I can go from this: 

to this: 

in a matter of hours. This can't possibly be good for my face, right? 

Yeah, it's probably not. But that's why God created man so we can create skin care products. 

Because I have eczema (a cross I have to bear) my routine is a bit different than your typical woman's. I have to use scent-free products and medicinal items that aren't fun and don't come in pretty packaging. I can't use any Lush products - I can't even use anything by Neutrogena. Not even Aveeno.  

So if you have sensitive skin, I might be able to save your life. 

• I recently discovered micellar water. You can get it cheap. It works as a cleanser and a makeup remover (wow! I know, right?!) and it doesn't contain any harsh chemicals that couldn't render you blind or something tragic like that. Micellar water is great and I highly recommend it.
• But if you do want something more practical for taking off your makeup, Simple's products are great. I use the wipes all the time. 
• Rose water is a really good toner. Here's a recipe. 

We all get acne and we all have redness. It's a fact of life. My skin isn't perfect but I like to think I take good care of it, especially considering how much makeup I put on. Don't forget that genetics do play a big part in it and what you eat. Greasy foods and sugar is a breeding ground for bad skin. 

So I'm not beauty guru, alright? But I am a woman and I was raised by two women who thrived on feminine habits. 

And as far as fashion goes,  I don't care what ya'll say, I'm damned experienced at it. My mother is a huge inspiration, as are my eccentric friends of whom I adore. Everybody should know how important dress is and how to find threads, you know?